Cancelled (until further notice)

Forgive me, for it has been two weeks since my last post… said with sarcasm because, who cares? Are you waiting on these? Am I bursting with stories and information to share in an elegant yet comical way? Yes. But I don’t always want to write them all down. Who has time for that? Well technically I do right now. This is the thing, just because I “have time” (which honestly between throwing my back out, nannying my niece, and living with my mother, I really don’t) doesn’t mean I want to spend it being productive. What does productive even mean as a self employed musician who is looking at another 18 months before she can perform in front of a live audience? I went into this thing, like I’m sure a lot of us did, announcing I was going to do push ups. I was going to write a million songs and start a Tik Tok account and meditate and blog everyday. It was good for a week - then I threw my back out (stress seems to manifest in my body). I stopped putting on regular pants and now I can’t get into them. I became angry and sad and frustrated and inspired and then angry again. The stress of the unknown ahead is crippling at times, for all of us. Personally, I do not know when I can return to the States. I am there on a performance visa where I can only legally make money performing. No performances = no income (sign up for my Patreon Page to support). I am not sure when I will be able to step on stage again. My home. My happiest place. The trajectory of my entire career seems to have tilted from an infinite yet gentle hill to a brick wall. My favourite part of what I do is currently cancelled. So, I have been sitting in this a little bit (in sweat pants), contemplating my next move, and I have decided it doesn’t need to be forward. At this point in my career, the only way “forward” is measured, is by me. It was a total revelation to be drowning in anxiety and look up to the sky and realize, this is completely self induced. Yes my deadlines keep me focused and give me a sense of control and momentum, but nobody gives a shit if I don’t make an inspirational post for a month (does this count?). And the truth is, I am not feeling that inspired! All I ever want to do, all we really can and should do as artists, is be honest. I am honestly having a very tough time. So, I am taking a hiatus from social media for the month of May. I will continue to do LIVE STREAM performances via YouTube. and share songs in progress, unreleased music, videos and more on my Patreon Page - sign up to support me via a monthly subscription of $5 or more. Also, make sure you are signed up for my mailing list at the bottom of this page. I will continue to make blog posts, or maybe I wont, who knows!? Point being, I am exhausted from trying to find meaning in this mess. I would like to take it all a little less seriously. So, I am freeing myself from the comparison and setting out to have some fun, playing and creating from a place of honesty and connection. We don’t know how long all of this will go on, so I am going to make every moment count by being present. Or I won’t. Who gives a fuck. LIVE YOUR LIVES.

I love you all!